On Blessings During Communion

I just read this post by Bonnie and thought it a great opportunity to share something I've been thinking about over the past few years, and that is the whole idea of crossing our arms in the communion line to receive a blessing if unable to receive the Blessed Sacrament. First of all, I'd like to say this is in no way an attack on this blogger who is an amazing mom and Catholic (and whose blog I love to read) nor on anyone who does this practice. Her blog post was merely the catalyst for the follwing post by yours truly. And just because we do something and consider it a standard practice, doesn't mean we shouldn't question it. Afterall nowhere in the liturgical guides does it say this should be done and it is NOT part of the rite.

Let me start with this grave abuse: extraordinary ministers cannot and should not be giving blessings. Ever. They are not priests. It happens all the time and is terribly wrong. If it happens in your Parish, it needs to be addressed and corrected. Now that I got that off my chest, I can continue.

I know I learned to cross my arms to get a blessing before I could receive the Eucharist in Catholic school. Priests even teach it, and now my generation is teaching our children that it is proper practice. But I've been praying a lot about this now that I have my own little one and am having serious doubts it is a good thing. I could be wrong, but let me entertain the thought for a second. A blessing from a priest is never a bad thing of course, but the priest gives the final blessing at the end of Mass, therefore it is unneccessary and maybe even liturgically inappropriate to receive one in the Communion line. Furthermore, receiving a blessing is not equal to receiving the Eucharist, we all know this, but to a child or adult who is just learning, I think it might be confusing. I think this practice is something that started because we didn't want our children and non catholics (at weddings and funerals) to feel left out; but does that really foster a belief in the true presence? By just getting the blessing are we ignoring that Jesus is in fact TRULY and FULLY present in the Eucharist? Certainly that is no one's intention but the question we need to ask ourselves is not what is most inclusive, but what is most reverent to the God of the universe, our Lord and Savior. Please don't think I am questioning the reverence of numerous children and adults who receive a blessing each week or day in the Communion line. Like I said, so many priests and teachers have taught us that it is okay. But is it best? Remember Mass is not about us, but about proper and due worship of God.

So what do I propose? Well I think with our little Dominic, we are going to teach him to kneel next to Geoffrey or me and while we receive, and to make a gesture of love and adoration (prostrate, bow his head, blow a kiss, etc.) This way it keeps the focus on the true presence of Jesus and not what we get out of it. Certainly we do get something out of receiving the Eucharist in good faith, but that should not be why we receive Him.

As parents we know how important it is to foster a deep desire for the Eucharist in the hearts of our children. May St Gemma, St Dominic Savio, and St Therese pray for us!

Well I suppose that is all I have to say about this for now. Thank you for reading my thoughts. Before you might get upset, please pray about this for a moment. If you think I am still dumb, forget all about it; but if you feel I might be onto something, ask your priest what he honestly thinks about this practice, and as always through prayerful discernment decide what is best for you and your family. 

Sit Down and be Quiet!

It is easy to get frustrated when our little owns aren't behaving how we would like them to. One of the worst places for me is restaurants. Oh how I loathe going out to eat now. Another place I sometimes get frustrated is at Church. Overall I would say that Dominic does pretty well, but our boy LOOOVES to talk. Constantly. All. the. time. I have no idea where he gets that from?? I don't mind if he is talking quietly a little bit especially since we normally attend the Extra Ordinary Form which is in Latin, but as Mass goes on he gets louder and louder. Usually we make it to the homily before Geoffrey or I bring him out back in the Narthax (where thankfully there is still sound). But right now, my Church is doing some much needed renovations: marble, Communion rails, high altar, need I say more, I'm already in love! In the mean time we are having Mass in our large gathering cafeteria type space. Yep, the same space I bring Dominic while we are at work to run around and go crazy in. So to tell our very active (I can't but think that is an understatement) 18 M old that he needs to be quiet and sit still in a place he usually plays in is nearly impossible.

A few weeks ago we attended the Saturday evening Mass because we were leaving for vacation the next day and wow was it horrible. I was in tears for a better part of the Mass and not in a good way (yes I am a frequent crier during Mass because, wow Jesus is there and that is awesome!) Dominic was being his normal self and oh my were we getting the dirtiest of dirty looks. Now let me say that my husband is super sensitive and considerate in this area and any peep too loud he wisks Dominic out. It is the Holy Mass and Geoff always says he doesn't want Dominic to take away from that for other people. I tell you that so you know we weren't letting him run wild and he wasn't screaming up a storm, but every little peep produced an evil glare. Not from just one person but from mutiple. We were just about the only family there with a youngling so I think this crowd wasn't used to that but it really just saddened me. These were mostly older people who were 30, 40, or more yrs removed from their own child rearing days. Have they really forgotten what it was like? I was feeling terrible and was questioning my parenting abilities. Thankfully Fr. L. was there to help after Mass. He calls Dominic "the Pistol" and always comments on how he is all boy, always on the move. After that particularly rough Mass he reminded me to not let other people get to me. He said we do a great job as parents and that they were being just plain rude.

So I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Do we put unrealistic expectations on our wee little ones? Don't get me wrong, I believe firmly in discipline and think that there will come a time where there will be more consequences for how he acts, but I have to keep in mind that Dominic right now is a one yr old! He doesn't yet understand that it would really be convenient for me if he was quiet and sat still for an hour/hour and a half long Mass. He doesn't know that when he screams in the grocery store because he wants to run around and not ride in the cart that it is unpleseant for other people. He doesn't understand why he can talk freely in someplaces and not others. But he is getting there, so I practice with him by going into the Church for instance while we are at work and showing him how to act. He will get it, but expecting him to sit down and shut up right now, would be asking him to simply stop being himself. Just like those people who were giving us evil glares at Mass, I don't remember what it is like to be a one year old kid. I do know, however that it is hard to sit still and be quiet at 28! I can't imagine what it is like for Dominic.

Patience, understanding, and a whole lot of grace will get us through. And then when we do, if God so blesses us, we hope to have another little one to not sit still and be quiet.