I firmly believe that as parents, you know what is best for your child and what his or her needs are at any given time. I also think that what works for one child or family, is not necessarily what works for the next. So with saying that, I'm gonna come out and say that Dominic sleeps with us most of the time. Some babies sleep better in their own space, mine just doesn't. The funny thing is, before we had Dominic I never in a million years thought our child would be sharing a bed with us. But now that I actually have that child, I couldn't imagine anything else. To be honest, it wasn't my intention. When Dominic was little, we had a bassinet next to our bed. He was so tiny and we just felt safer with him in the room with us. Then he became an avid night-nurser and I would bring him in the bed for the feeding. Often, waiting for him to be totally asleep before putting him back in his bed, I would fall asleep too. And thus it began. In the beginning I actually worried about him sleeping with us as I didn't want to become one of those families, but Geoffrey and I realized that we felt much safer with him right next to us where we could hear his every sound and feel his every movement even if in our sleep. I will never forget one night when Geoffrey said, "Dacia, you don't need to feel guilty about him sleeping in our bed if he sleeps better that way." And it certainly was much easier to nurse him and turns out I got more sleep too. So here are my thoughts on the whole "controversial" topic.
During the day, I, and Geoff when home, attend to Dominic's every need. You know, food, diapers, comfort, and play. So if we do these things during the day, why would we assume our obligation ceases during the nightime hours? I don't consider the night a break from parenting, comforting, or nursing my child. Which is why this whole put him in the other room and let him cry thing may work for some, but it isn't something we have chosen to do. I understand the argument for the "cry it out" method; they have to learn to fall asleep by themselves. Okay makes sense. But out of all the people I know who share selpt with their babies not one of them have a 8 yr old or 2 yr old that doesn't know how to fall asleep on their own. So babies who share sleep and are nursed back to sleep when the awake learn how it just might take a little longer than a week of crying it out. There are plenty of times when resettles himself back to sleep though so I know he is getting there. So far in the middle of it I don't regret this one bit. I would be lying though if I said it was always easy, my little guy is very active, even while sleeping. And some nights he sleeps great (which for him is waking up only once or twice to nurse), and others it seems I'm up every two hours though not for long. But overall I know that I sleep better with him right next to Geoffrey and I and so does Doc as he wakes up much less feeling safe and secure with his mommy and daddy.
